You’re here for a reason. You clicked on this headline because it spoke to something you’re searching for. I want you to sit tight before reading on and think about your “why.” Why do you need to start over? What is keeping you stuck?
It’s ok if you don’t have an answer. Sometimes people can point to specific life events like divorce, job loss, trauma, and relationship strain as markers for when they starting feeling stuck.
Sometimes people just wake up one day and realize they don’t know who they are.
Maybe you can’t put your finger on it; you simply know that you can’t continue in the status quo.
Feeling stuck is overwhelming. That overwhelm can make it hard to see how you got here or how to get out. I’ve put together some tips to help you start the process of creating movement when you can’t find your next step.
Tip #1: Take some deep breaths
Deep breaths that fully engage your belly (diaphragmatic breathing) give your nervous system time to calm down, lowering your heart rate and lessening the physical effects of stress and anxiety in the moment. When we are caught in overwhelm or anxiety, our body directs energy to survival and we lose some access to the ability to think clearly. Spending some intentional time deep breathing or in meditation can help clear some of the brain fog and improve your problem-solving abilities. Here are some links that could be helpful:
Tip #2: Get real about your needs
Food, shelter, and safety are needs that are of the highest priority. If you are worried about meeting these needs, I encourage you to seek out resources in your area. One such resource is www.211.org. This is part of United Way and you can search here for assistance with food, housing, and sometimes financial help. You can also call 211 from your service area to find local resources.
Tip #3: Therapy
Therapy provides a safe, confidential, non-judgmental space for you to be heard, understood, and accepted. This process can jumpstart your growth by deepening your understanding of self as a third party helps you identify your needs.
If therapy feels cost-prohibitive, there are options! Many colleges offer free counseling to their students, and several churches offer free or lower cost service. Further, there are many counseling students in the internship phase of their master’s program who offer free services or reduced rates. Many employers also offer Employee Assistance Programs, which provide a number of therapy sessions free to the employee.
Tip #4: Values Clarification/Personal Inventory
Our values and likes/dislikes can shift with age, experience, and circumstances. Taking the time to clarify what is important to you at this stage in your life can give you direction. Identifying those places where your actions aren’t lining up with your values can help resolve some internal tension and point you toward areas to explore in relationships, work, and dreams. If you can define what’s important, you can take steps to live congruently with your values.
Next Steps
These tips may not be right for everyone, and that’s ok; my hope is that you’ve gained some ideas about how you can get unstuck. Wherever you’re at -prioritizing needs, finding a therapist, exploring your current set of values, or something I didn’t say-there is a move for you to take. Just start with a breath.
If you’d like some guidance for your next steps, I’d love to help! Call or email to schedule your free 15 minute phone consultation.